This is about as personal as I can ever get on a public surface.
Today, my boyfriend was taken to the ER. I won't go into details on what happened or what will happen. He is okay though!
However, the minute I heard that he was in the hospital, I couldn't keep myself from freaking out. Tears constantly at the surface threatening to spill over at the slightest thought. It was not only because of his hospitalization...
Three and a half years ago, the last time I had visited a hospital for something negative, my mom was miscarrying my sister, Zoe. Matter of fact, both times I have ever been in a hospital for negative reasons, my mom miscarried a baby. (She only has miscarried two). When we were heading for the hospital after my mom miscarried Zoe, my dad practically had to drag me out of the house kicking and screaming because I didn't want to relive the experience I had as a 5 year old. But I did it, and I wouldn't ever trade the opportunity to hold my 18 week old sister with her little fingers and toes....her body that was as big as my hand.
With both horrible hospital visits, I was beyond scared to go see my boyfriend. I couldn't help visualize those two times with my mom...what if something horrible would happen to my boyfriend while being at the hospital? But then that's what made me go. What if something happened that took him from me, and I never went to see him? I would have hated myself.
This is probably a very rambling post. But I hope it helps you. I hope it helps you face your fears. I hope it helps you face your negativity. Be there for those you love. I promise you, you won't regret it.
No comments:
Post a Comment